Yeah, it's been a while...

It's a jolly holiday, isn't it?

Caller: I was listening to the message about tonight's shows and I want you to know I'd like to see that Spoiler Alert show.

Me: Unfortunately, though, as the message said, we are sold out this evening.

Caller: Oh. Well, I was looking at the online thing and thought about buying tickets but I only need one ticket.

Me: Okay, but sadly we are sold out for the shows tonight.

Caller: But do you do any last minute rush tickets?

Me: No, we don't. There are no tickets available for tonight's shows.

Caller: Oh, so it really means sold out.

Me: Yes. As sold out show means the show is sold out.

Caller: So, like, but could I just get one ticket online or how can I do that?

Me: You can purchase up to ten tickets online.

Caller: So I could get one?

Me: You could just get one, yes. Or you could get more than one. But you can't get more than ten.

Caller: So I can do that for tonight?

Me: Not tonight, no, because we're sold out.

Caller: Oh! Well what about any other show?

Me: There are no shows tonight with ticket availability as per the message at the beginning of the call.

Caller: What about on other stages?

Me: All shows, all times, all stages are completely sold out tonight at the Second City.

Caller: Oh, so there are no tickets for tonight. How much are tickets?


And then I shot myself.