Remember back when Gwyneth Paltrow was just that pretty, blond actress who had made out with Brad Pitt in real life and starred in a movie called Shakespeare in Love that made everyone swoon? Then she married a musician, popped out some kids she named after fruit and stuff, made an appearance on Conan with legs so shiny I'm fairly certain their lighting guy quit that day, and everything went to shit.
I don't have much to say on the topic, really, except-Why? She appears in one movie about a country star and now we have to let her sing every damn thing? Two episodes of 'Glee'? No, thank you. Rumors of a record deal? Not even. Today's celebrities need to realize the following: A) You are not Madonna or Cher. B) Even if you were one of those two people, it isn't the 80's anymore. Society is no longer willing to accept listening to your pop album while cruising over to the cineplex to catch your latest flick. The days of Desperately Seeking Susan and Moonstruck are as dead as Michael Jackson. If you need proof of this, ask Cher how she (or anyone else) feels about Burlesque. I'm fairly certain I heard one reviewer say, "It's like Showgirls, except it's really, really terrible.
Cut it out, Gwynnie.
**Oh, and she blogs too. And gives life advice. Kind of like me, but she's serious about it. Bitches, I could BE Gwyneth Paltrow if I had an over-inflated sense of self worth. How did we let this happen?
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