Educate yourself. Know the difference.

We all remember what those G.I. Joe PSA's taught us about knowing, right kids?

Thank you, Etsy gods! Thank you.

Just when I thought I'd gotten everything I ever wanted from the jewelry world- gold, bronze, silver, copper, antique, mod-looking plastic, long necklaces, short necklaces, recycled metal ring from Honduras, some beautiful shit that belonged to Memaw and Nanny- I come across something on Etsy that makes my heart skip a beat. I think, "Arrhythmia? No. Just the sight of some hairy balls."


That's right, ladies! For just twenty-eight bones, you can wrap your dainty little hands around these balls made of wooly yarn. Seven balls at that! It's like a necklace version of a fivesome...except the fifth guy has only one nut. In other words, it's every hetero girl's fantasy.


Don't youwant to wear testicular jewelry?

Etsy...

...you tempt me yet again.