Seriously, who IS on first?

Caller: Yes, I want tickets for this Saturday's main stage performance.
Me: I'm sorry, all of our shows on Saturday are completely sold out.
Caller: Oh, well what about the other show?
Me: It's sold out.
Caller: When is your next availability?
Me: Well, we have main stage at 11pm tomorrow night, then both stages have tickets this Sunday at 7pm.
Caller: So, all shows are available tomorrow?
Me: No. Only the mainstage. At 11pm.
Caller: So that's both 11pm shows tomorrow.
Me: No, sir. We only have one show with availability tomorrow and it is the main stage at 11pm. All other shows are sold out.
Caller: And then you're sold out the rest of the weekend?
Me: No. Here's what we have-- tomorrow, Friday, at 11pm, we have one show. It is on the main stage and it is available. Every thing else is sold out. Then, on Saturday, we are completely booked. Then, on Sunday BOTH stages have tickets available for shows at 7pm.
Caller: So you're sold out for tomorrow?
Me: Not for everything, no. The only show we do have is Mainstage at 11pm.
Caller: And then Saturday is open.
Me: No, sir, Saturday is not open. It is sold out. Our next available day would then be Sunday.
Caller: For just main stage.
Me: No. For both shows.
Caller: And then you have both shows tomorrow at 11.
Me: No. Just main stage.
Caller: And then you've got tickets for Saturday at 7.

Holy. Crap.