Watching the pot boil
Eventually
The reasons to not like you
Outweighing the ones
Why I do
Yet the times I'm near you
Forgetting negative, positive growing
Exponentially
Here I sit
Phone in hand
Reliving my past
In an arid land
Unable to explain
This onslaught of disdain
And how it directly
Relates to man
Persistent
You tease, then pull away
Reluctant at first
I've kept it at bay
Too foolish, too strong, too prideful to leap
I find myself pulled overnight
Sucked in too deep
"Unfair" is the word
Utilized
Seems appropriate for that
Which tames a
Wild cat
Then releases it back
To its own, tumultuous wild
Paralyzed
Saturday, September 25, 2010
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Too Little, Too Late
Well they just keep pouring in today...
Negligence: I need to get tickets for Saturday night at 8.
Me: I'm sorry, sir all of those shows are sold out on Saturday.
Negligence: Dammit! It's my anniversary.
Me: I'm sorry, sir.
Negligence: Not your fault I just should have called earlier! I thought about it because I did some group sales through you guys for work and I got my invoice and decide...Anyway, are you sure? It's sold out? Are you checking?
Me: I've checked. It's sold.
Negligence: Dammit. I really could use a laugh that night.
Or...a divorce. Just get a divorce, please.
Negligence: I need to get tickets for Saturday night at 8.
Me: I'm sorry, sir all of those shows are sold out on Saturday.
Negligence: Dammit! It's my anniversary.
Me: I'm sorry, sir.
Negligence: Not your fault I just should have called earlier! I thought about it because I did some group sales through you guys for work and I got my invoice and decide...Anyway, are you sure? It's sold out? Are you checking?
Me: I've checked. It's sold.
Negligence: Dammit. I really could use a laugh that night.
Or...a divorce. Just get a divorce, please.
I'm not fluent in Douche, but I am learning!
Douchebag: Yeah, I'm callin' 'bout tickets. You got any?
Me: Could you be more specific?
Douchebag: For a show.
Me: When?!
Douchebag: Tonight. Or tomorrow.
Me: We're sold out for professional shows tonight and tomorrow at 8, there's availability at 11pm tomorrow night.
Douchebag: What else you got? Any other thing? The message said you had another one...
Me: We have an independent stage that is set aside for up and coming performers...
Douchebag: When is that?
Me: Tonight at 10:30.
Douchebag: Okay.
Me: Okay?
Douchebag: Yeah.
Me: You want one of those shows?
Douchebag: Yeah, let me get two of those.
((Transactional bullshit and then...))
Douchebag: Yeah, where am I going?
Me: Where are we located?
Douchebag: Yeah.
Me: You're going to 1608 North Wells Street and...
Douchebag: What?! How you spell Rowl?
Me: You... don't. You're going to Wells street. Like wells of water.
Douchebag: Oh! W-I-L-D?
Me: No.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Okay/Not Okay
There are many things that can be done in a jeep. You can go to the beach, go to the mountains, drive it respectively and safely in the city, just to name a few.
There is probably a long list of "not okay" things to do in a jeep, but there's one in particular that I encountered this morning. I feel the need to address it here:
It is not okay for you to drive for half a mile in the bike lane instead of joining the rest of the cars as if you are about to make an eventual right, only to blow your horn at the girl in the Ford Focus when she gets in front of you before the next major intersection, because she has no idea you are intent on being ahead of her. It is also not okay for you to be on your cell phone while doing this. That's probably why the girl in the Ford Focus will decide you should see her middle finger. She is not, in fact, showing you her manicure...because it isn't fresh. It is not okay for you to show your middle finger, because you are the one in the wrong in this instance. So, don't flip her off at that moment and don't flip her off when you pass her later while she's turning left. Just, don't. You are the asshole in this situation.
On second thought, I think I've changed my mind about people driving a jeep in the city. Not okay.
There is probably a long list of "not okay" things to do in a jeep, but there's one in particular that I encountered this morning. I feel the need to address it here:
It is not okay for you to drive for half a mile in the bike lane instead of joining the rest of the cars as if you are about to make an eventual right, only to blow your horn at the girl in the Ford Focus when she gets in front of you before the next major intersection, because she has no idea you are intent on being ahead of her. It is also not okay for you to be on your cell phone while doing this. That's probably why the girl in the Ford Focus will decide you should see her middle finger. She is not, in fact, showing you her manicure...because it isn't fresh. It is not okay for you to show your middle finger, because you are the one in the wrong in this instance. So, don't flip her off at that moment and don't flip her off when you pass her later while she's turning left. Just, don't. You are the asshole in this situation.
On second thought, I think I've changed my mind about people driving a jeep in the city. Not okay.
Wednesday, September 8, 2010
It's a Facebook thing...
There's a new activity on Facebook that's been invented for the sole purpose of eating up your free time. Folks are tagging their friends in a note where they list 15 albums that have stuck with them. It's supposed to be a quick list, and it shouldn't take some one... say... an hour to do this. However, some people are meticulous and overly concerned with things that really don't matter. My list took a while.
As I said in my Facebook note, these things are just fodder for judgment. People love to be snobs and tease others about their musical tastes. I think music is a uniquely personal thing and a song, no matter how "terrible", can take you back to a time and place and emotion that no one else can feel but you. As a person who has been said to like a lot of "bad" music, I applaud people for being open about the skeletons in their music closets. Even cheesy music has its place... so says my old CD single of "Shake Your Bon Bon" by Ricky Martin.
Even so, I do feel the need to share the reasons why these 15 albums made the list, not to save face, but to share... because it is interesting to me. And, also, I promised myself I would write something today. Enjoy...or judge.
The Cars - (debut) The Cars: In my opinion, The Cars are sadly underrated. My parents had this album when I was a kid and they wore the damn thing out. (Back in the day, kids, there were these things called records...) I remembered my fondness for the band when I came across a greatest hits compilation of theirs in college. My roommate said bluntly, "I have no idea who they are." I said, "The fuck you don't!" and proceeded to play the CD. She knew every track. The Cars, a great part of music history; their first album, a stunner. It will always be a favorite.
Weezer- Pinkerton: Man...remember when Weezer did good things? Of course, being introduced to Weezer was exciting enough for my generation. A sophomore effort is not always as adored, but Pinkerton did what it could to win just as many hearts as the Blue Album did. Nice work. Not only do I hold a special place in my heart for this album, because I was constantly called "Casey Pinkerton" by countless southerners who refused to look at my actual surname and pronounce it the way it was spelled. Some of my most crucial high school memories are embedded in between these songs. You all might see a track listing, but I see drives to the mall with my best friend and high school soccer games on the back of that jewel case as well. Look closely, you might see some memories of your own.
David Bowie- Hunky Dory: If I were to make an attempt...a feeble attempt...at explaining my love for David Bowie, this blog would never, ever end. From childhood, to my Bowie renaissance that began about five years ago, I've been hooked on this album in particular. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, because Bowie's genius cannot be married to one, single album. Most of my favorite songs, however, are on Hunky Dory. For that simple reason, it made the list.
Nirvana- MTV Unplugged in New York: My Sony Discman was the permanent home for this CD when I was 14. I saw no need to listen to anything else. I fell asleep to this album, woke up to it, listened to it in between classes. I had those headphones on so much my beloved electronic was taken away from me on the last day of 8th grade. Thankfully, I got it back just in time to spend an entire summer sitting on my stepmother's porch swing while I listened to Kurt Cobain's gritty voice haunt me from beyond the grave. Up until that point, I hadn't enjoyed any other Unplugged album. But this one...this one still takes me back to that time. I still feel what I felt then when I listen to it. I'm not sure if it's good or bad to revert back to the 14 year old me, but it feels cozy. Like an old, ugly flannel from the 90's grunge era...
Silverchair- Frogstomp: I've gotten shit for this one, but it is oh, so important. Silverchair ignited one of my longest lasting friendships. My best friend Emily and I bonded over this album, because it was a band of hot 16 year old boys from Australia and we were in need of celebrity crushes at the time. We were obsessed. We talked about them nonstop. Our weekend outings revolved around buying every music magazine that contained even the tiniest mention of "our men." We saw signs of our pending marriages to our beloved boys every where. My first real, ticketed concert was at a festival where Silverchair opened for ... The Ramones. No biggie. We thought we were pretty special that, of all the cities in America, their first US gig took place in Atlanta. This album is by no means a masterpiece, but "Tomorrow" will always make me stop and have a tender moment. Emily and I still text one another when we hear it, because we're still best friends to this day. Thank you, Daniel Johns, Ben Gillies, and Chris Joannou. Thank you very, very much.
Queen- News of the World: This album must have played on a loop in my home for a solid year during my childhood. I recall lying on my stomach, flipping through my parents' album covers while they listened to them. I was particularly fixated on the artwork for this one. It will never leave me. Just look at the fucking thing! To be honest, that had a lot to do with why I chose this Queen album over the others. It was a tough choice, believe me. Queen was a Pilkenton household staple.
Cyndi Lauper-She's So Unusual: Another album cover I stared at as if it were my job, but this album defined the 80's for me. Seeing as I was three when this was released, that isn't saying much, but Cyndi Lauper had her hooks in my little mind. Every where I went, I wanted to be dressed like her. She is still an embodiment of that decade for me and these songs just take me back to being a little girl who was obsessed with being a pop star. Even then, I knew great style when I saw it. Bitch had it.
Madonna- Like a Virgin: If Cyndi Lauper was my style icon in the 80's, then Madonna was the big sister I never had...and probably shouldn't have had. I thought if I wore bows made of tulle in my hair, I could look just like her. "Like a Virgin" was my absolute favorite song when I was four. I would put my tulle bows in, throw on some bangles, some eye shadow, and sing my heart out. Some people thought it was weird, but since I was actually singing "Like a bergent... touched for the very first time..." and no one knew what in the hell a "bergent" was...my mom decided it was okay just to let this one be. Madonna inspired me for years...probably until she started having scarily sculpted man arms. Yikes.
Everclear- Sparkle and Fade: Remember all stuff I said about Emily during my Silverchair blabber? Throw her in with this one too. I listened to this album from beginning to end on repeat until I just couldn't take it any more. I wrote Art Alexakis letters. Funny, I'll bet some of you didn't even know his name.
Foo Fighters- Foo Fighters:Dave Grohl... one of my many celebrity loves. What a fucking genius. The excitement behind this debut album was huge, because the dude from Nirvana had made it...and it was good. It made a crater-sized impact on my eighth grade summer, and then the Foo Fighters went on to put sizable dents all in my adolescence and college years. Still... one of the greatest live shows I've ever seen. And, still... I would make out with Dave Grohl if he asked. I'd have to.
R.E.M. - Automatic for the People: Remember when I thought I could become Angela Chase from "My So-Called Life" if I dyed my hair red, wore oversized shirts, and listened to the saddest music on the planet? Remember the great music video for "Everybody Hurts"? I still geek out over "Man on the Moon" and "Ignoreland." This is just a good album, so suck on that.
Todd Rundgren- Something/Anything?: I was born in 1980 to a mother and father who were 17 and 19, respectively. Therefore, I probably listened to this album in utero. Todd makes the list by default. My parents probably enjoyed him because my dad's name is also Todd. Also, Rundgren is talented as piss.
Nellie McKay-Get Away from Me: This album always reminds me of when I moved away from Georgia, because I listened to it on many lonely, Las Vegas afternoons. (Thank you, Adam Brown.) Nellie is just as political as she is whimsical. I imagine, if we were friends, she'd invite me over when I'm having a bad day, and we'd have a princess style tea party, and everything would be an adorable shade of pink, red, or purple. I just adore her, and you will too. Listen.
Fiona Apple- When the Pawn...: Cyndi made me obsessed with pop stardom. Over a decade later, Fiona made me fall in love with singing again, only this time, I was brooding and sultry...for no apparent reason. This album reminds me of driving my 1992 Ford Escort through the streets of Griffin, Georgia, my first intense, college crush (He was bipolar. It was awesome.), getting a post-80's perm (Not the worst idea I've ever had, but certainly not the best either), and the fact that I pretended to look great in ankle-length skirts (I just don't). Want to fill me with angst and make me sing as if I have a message to deliver? Put on Fiona.
John Lennon- Double Fantasy: Lennon's death has haunted me all my life, because it happened when I was just three months old... and it was all my mother could talk about when we discussed the Beatles. Lennon was a household name. "(Just Like)Starting Over" has perfect placement as the first track on a comeback album. "Watching the Wheels"...my absolute favorite by Lennon. I love the man so much, it was hard for me to narrow it down to one album, but this one became his epitaph in a way. I guess that's why I find it so moving.
**Honorable mention goes to Thriller...obviously.**
As I said in my Facebook note, these things are just fodder for judgment. People love to be snobs and tease others about their musical tastes. I think music is a uniquely personal thing and a song, no matter how "terrible", can take you back to a time and place and emotion that no one else can feel but you. As a person who has been said to like a lot of "bad" music, I applaud people for being open about the skeletons in their music closets. Even cheesy music has its place... so says my old CD single of "Shake Your Bon Bon" by Ricky Martin.
Even so, I do feel the need to share the reasons why these 15 albums made the list, not to save face, but to share... because it is interesting to me. And, also, I promised myself I would write something today. Enjoy...or judge.
The Cars - (debut) The Cars: In my opinion, The Cars are sadly underrated. My parents had this album when I was a kid and they wore the damn thing out. (Back in the day, kids, there were these things called records...) I remembered my fondness for the band when I came across a greatest hits compilation of theirs in college. My roommate said bluntly, "I have no idea who they are." I said, "The fuck you don't!" and proceeded to play the CD. She knew every track. The Cars, a great part of music history; their first album, a stunner. It will always be a favorite.
Weezer- Pinkerton: Man...remember when Weezer did good things? Of course, being introduced to Weezer was exciting enough for my generation. A sophomore effort is not always as adored, but Pinkerton did what it could to win just as many hearts as the Blue Album did. Nice work. Not only do I hold a special place in my heart for this album, because I was constantly called "Casey Pinkerton" by countless southerners who refused to look at my actual surname and pronounce it the way it was spelled. Some of my most crucial high school memories are embedded in between these songs. You all might see a track listing, but I see drives to the mall with my best friend and high school soccer games on the back of that jewel case as well. Look closely, you might see some memories of your own.David Bowie- Hunky Dory: If I were to make an attempt...a feeble attempt...at explaining my love for David Bowie, this blog would never, ever end. From childhood, to my Bowie renaissance that began about five years ago, I've been hooked on this album in particular. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, because Bowie's genius cannot be married to one, single album. Most of my favorite songs, however, are on Hunky Dory. For that simple reason, it made the list.
Nirvana- MTV Unplugged in New York: My Sony Discman was the permanent home for this CD when I was 14. I saw no need to listen to anything else. I fell asleep to this album, woke up to it, listened to it in between classes. I had those headphones on so much my beloved electronic was taken away from me on the last day of 8th grade. Thankfully, I got it back just in time to spend an entire summer sitting on my stepmother's porch swing while I listened to Kurt Cobain's gritty voice haunt me from beyond the grave. Up until that point, I hadn't enjoyed any other Unplugged album. But this one...this one still takes me back to that time. I still feel what I felt then when I listen to it. I'm not sure if it's good or bad to revert back to the 14 year old me, but it feels cozy. Like an old, ugly flannel from the 90's grunge era...
Silverchair- Frogstomp: I've gotten shit for this one, but it is oh, so important. Silverchair ignited one of my longest lasting friendships. My best friend Emily and I bonded over this album, because it was a band of hot 16 year old boys from Australia and we were in need of celebrity crushes at the time. We were obsessed. We talked about them nonstop. Our weekend outings revolved around buying every music magazine that contained even the tiniest mention of "our men." We saw signs of our pending marriages to our beloved boys every where. My first real, ticketed concert was at a festival where Silverchair opened for ... The Ramones. No biggie. We thought we were pretty special that, of all the cities in America, their first US gig took place in Atlanta. This album is by no means a masterpiece, but "Tomorrow" will always make me stop and have a tender moment. Emily and I still text one another when we hear it, because we're still best friends to this day. Thank you, Daniel Johns, Ben Gillies, and Chris Joannou. Thank you very, very much.
Queen- News of the World: This album must have played on a loop in my home for a solid year during my childhood. I recall lying on my stomach, flipping through my parents' album covers while they listened to them. I was particularly fixated on the artwork for this one. It will never leave me. Just look at the fucking thing! To be honest, that had a lot to do with why I chose this Queen album over the others. It was a tough choice, believe me. Queen was a Pilkenton household staple. 
Cyndi Lauper-She's So Unusual: Another album cover I stared at as if it were my job, but this album defined the 80's for me. Seeing as I was three when this was released, that isn't saying much, but Cyndi Lauper had her hooks in my little mind. Every where I went, I wanted to be dressed like her. She is still an embodiment of that decade for me and these songs just take me back to being a little girl who was obsessed with being a pop star. Even then, I knew great style when I saw it. Bitch had it. Madonna- Like a Virgin: If Cyndi Lauper was my style icon in the 80's, then Madonna was the big sister I never had...and probably shouldn't have had. I thought if I wore bows made of tulle in my hair, I could look just like her. "Like a Virgin" was my absolute favorite song when I was four. I would put my tulle bows in, throw on some bangles, some eye shadow, and sing my heart out. Some people thought it was weird, but since I was actually singing "Like a bergent... touched for the very first time..." and no one knew what in the hell a "bergent" was...my mom decided it was okay just to let this one be. Madonna inspired me for years...probably until she started having scarily sculpted man arms. Yikes.
Everclear- Sparkle and Fade: Remember all stuff I said about Emily during my Silverchair blabber? Throw her in with this one too. I listened to this album from beginning to end on repeat until I just couldn't take it any more. I wrote Art Alexakis letters. Funny, I'll bet some of you didn't even know his name.
Foo Fighters- Foo Fighters:Dave Grohl... one of my many celebrity loves. What a fucking genius. The excitement behind this debut album was huge, because the dude from Nirvana had made it...and it was good. It made a crater-sized impact on my eighth grade summer, and then the Foo Fighters went on to put sizable dents all in my adolescence and college years. Still... one of the greatest live shows I've ever seen. And, still... I would make out with Dave Grohl if he asked. I'd have to.
R.E.M. - Automatic for the People: Remember when I thought I could become Angela Chase from "My So-Called Life" if I dyed my hair red, wore oversized shirts, and listened to the saddest music on the planet? Remember the great music video for "Everybody Hurts"? I still geek out over "Man on the Moon" and "Ignoreland." This is just a good album, so suck on that.
Todd Rundgren- Something/Anything?: I was born in 1980 to a mother and father who were 17 and 19, respectively. Therefore, I probably listened to this album in utero. Todd makes the list by default. My parents probably enjoyed him because my dad's name is also Todd. Also, Rundgren is talented as piss.
Nellie McKay-Get Away from Me: This album always reminds me of when I moved away from Georgia, because I listened to it on many lonely, Las Vegas afternoons. (Thank you, Adam Brown.) Nellie is just as political as she is whimsical. I imagine, if we were friends, she'd invite me over when I'm having a bad day, and we'd have a princess style tea party, and everything would be an adorable shade of pink, red, or purple. I just adore her, and you will too. Listen.
Fiona Apple- When the Pawn...: Cyndi made me obsessed with pop stardom. Over a decade later, Fiona made me fall in love with singing again, only this time, I was brooding and sultry...for no apparent reason. This album reminds me of driving my 1992 Ford Escort through the streets of Griffin, Georgia, my first intense, college crush (He was bipolar. It was awesome.), getting a post-80's perm (Not the worst idea I've ever had, but certainly not the best either), and the fact that I pretended to look great in ankle-length skirts (I just don't). Want to fill me with angst and make me sing as if I have a message to deliver? Put on Fiona.
John Lennon- Double Fantasy: Lennon's death has haunted me all my life, because it happened when I was just three months old... and it was all my mother could talk about when we discussed the Beatles. Lennon was a household name. "(Just Like)Starting Over" has perfect placement as the first track on a comeback album. "Watching the Wheels"...my absolute favorite by Lennon. I love the man so much, it was hard for me to narrow it down to one album, but this one became his epitaph in a way. I guess that's why I find it so moving.
**Honorable mention goes to Thriller...obviously.**
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Recent Conversations With Mom
Aug. 29, 2010
Mom: I think I need to go on a date, I had a dream I was seeing Mark Wahlberg.
Me: Well, that's not so terrible. He's a nice looking guy.
Mom:But I don't know him!
Sept. 7, 2010
Mom: I know you are busy at work, but I had dream about George Clooney last night and have decided that all these dreams I'm having about celebrities means that you are going to make it!
(And I have no doubt in my mind that is exactly how Clooney looked in Mom's dream)
Friday, September 3, 2010
Misunderstanding all you see
Nearly three years ago now, on the anniversary of John Lennon's death, I decided I wanted some sort of Beatles inspired tattoo. I needed something small, I didn't particularly want words, and I wanted it to mean something to me. My kick ass mom helped me land on the idea of the strawberry.
"Strawberry Fields Forever" has always been one of my favorites. When I was very young, I hid behind a tree as I watched other children play at a birthday party. This birthday girl ended up being my classmate and, on her 18th, we watched that video. It wasn't until then that I realized, "Oh, guess I've always assumed other kids thought I was weird." The line in the song, "no one I think, is in my tree" speaks volumes now.
Here is what John Lennon said about "Strawberry Fields Forever":
"I was hip in kindergarten...I was different all my life. The second verse goes 'No one I think is in my tree.' Well, I was too shy and self-doubting. No one seems to be as hip as me is what I'm saying. Therefore-I must be crazy or genius. . . 'I mean it must be high or low' is the next line. There was something wrong with me, I thought, because I seemed to see things other people didn't see."
John Lennon said that shit the year I was born. I've always felt this strange connection to him because he was shot just three months after I was born, and my mom always talked about his death as if he'd been some long lost family member. Reading this quote about this particular song...this week, of all weeks! I rang in my birthday just over 24 hours ago by dishing about the Beatles at midnight...and this song was mentioned. And I explained why it was my favorite before I'd even read this quote.
I'm not trying to be dramatic, here. I just think... it's a little magical... and kind of fucking cool.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)