Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts
Showing posts with label facebook. Show all posts

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

This is not real.



Are you kidding me? Facebook users actually believe that a surgeon sat down with a family and said, "Your son is in need of a heart transplant. The surgery will cost you upwards of one hundred and forty-five thousand dollars. But, hold on! Don't cry, Mrs. Waters. Have I got a deal for you! If you act now and take a sad photo of your child hooked up to life support and post it on Facebook, and if one hundred people share that picture, I'll do the surgery for free. I'm just that nice of a guy. Whadya say?! One hundred shares. That's all I'm asking. That's less than the dollar amount. I really need this to happen. I love Facebook sharing. It's my drug. Make it happen."

Bullshit.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Get a room (or a private video chat)

I am thankful for many things but, topping that list may be the fact that Dan and I can appreciate one another without going to lengths such as this. There is a time and a place for romance, people. I like it when people are happy, but Facebook is abused when it comes to this shit.


Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Not for the fluttery of heart

Like how I no longer qualify as the "single one" among my friends, and yet I still think girls (and some guys) in relationships are gross? Me too.

Here's the thing-no one other than you cares how truly in love you are at this time, and though you may be feeling extreme joy after finding that "special someone" you're not the first person to feel that, and you certainly won't be the last. Also, call me a cynic, but that shit goes away. Your butterflies will subside. One day you might live with this person and they will most likely end up with a virus that gives them diarrhea or they'll vomit (Happens to most of us). Then, you're really being tested. I wonder why you aren't posting pictures of that on Facebook?

Caption: I am such a lucky girl! xoxo :)<3
My comment: It isn't that I don't care about you as a person or as a friend, and your happiness is more than welcome here. The details behind said happiness, however, may be the best secrets you will ever keep. For fuck's sake, please keep them.

And, once again, no one but you and the person with their face in the toilet would give a shit. Romantic love is a thing that should be shared between two people (or many if you're into polygamy), not between you, your lover (shudder), and your 500+ Facebook friends. Though we may feel as if the entire universe should know how elated we are, though it may seem cute to post the pictures of the flowers we got "just because! He's so great!", though we may want to shout our significant others' respective names from our own respective rooftops, it is not necessary. It comes across as if you are bragging that someone has picked you. Again, I have to say, happens to most of us.

Love can be a tumultuous and overwhelming cacophony of emotions on its own, so why don't you take it upon yourself to be the one who shuts up? It's kind of like this, I like McDonald's for what it is, but I cannot stand or understand the fascination with the McRib. I feel the same way about pictures of your Valentine's Day flowers and how you relate them to love. I just don't get it. Call me a nut bag, but I don't think that's romance.

Monday, February 28, 2011

Welcome to the extremely difficult world of dating



For those seasoned pros who are finding regular online dating a bit routine and mundane, or for novices who think they're up for a new relationship with a challenge- date a single dad! Single dads come complete with at least one child and an overbearing, controlling ex, guaranteed to add just the right amount of spice and stress to your budding romance.

*Not all single dads look like this douche nozzle.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

It's a Facebook thing...

There's a new activity on Facebook that's been invented for the sole purpose of eating up your free time. Folks are tagging their friends in a note where they list 15 albums that have stuck with them. It's supposed to be a quick list, and it shouldn't take some one... say... an hour to do this. However, some people are meticulous and overly concerned with things that really don't matter. My list took a while.

As I said in my Facebook note, these things are just fodder for judgment. People love to be snobs and tease others about their musical tastes. I think music is a uniquely personal thing and a song, no matter how "terrible", can take you back to a time and place and emotion that no one else can feel but you. As a person who has been said to like a lot of "bad" music, I applaud people for being open about the skeletons in their music closets. Even cheesy music has its place... so says my old CD single of "Shake Your Bon Bon" by Ricky Martin.

Even so, I do feel the need to share the reasons why these 15 albums made the list, not to save face, but to share... because it is interesting to me. And, also, I promised myself I would write something today. Enjoy...or judge.


The Cars - (debut) The Cars: In my opinion, The Cars are sadly underrated. My parents had this album when I was a kid and they wore the damn thing out. (Back in the day, kids, there were these things called records...) I remembered my fondness for the band when I came across a greatest hits compilation of theirs in college. My roommate said bluntly, "I have no idea who they are." I said, "The fuck you don't!" and proceeded to play the CD. She knew every track. The Cars, a great part of music history; their first album, a stunner. It will always be a favorite.

Weezer- Pinkerton: Man...remember when Weezer did good things? Of course, being introduced to Weezer was exciting enough for my generation. A sophomore effort is not always as adored, but Pinkerton did what it could to win just as many hearts as the Blue Album did. Nice work. Not only do I hold a special place in my heart for this album, because I was constantly called "Casey Pinkerton" by countless southerners who refused to look at my actual surname and pronounce it the way it was spelled. Some of my most crucial high school memories are embedded in between these songs. You all might see a track listing, but I see drives to the mall with my best friend and high school soccer games on the back of that jewel case as well. Look closely, you might see some memories of your own.

David Bowie- Hunky Dory: If I were to make an attempt...a feeble attempt...at explaining my love for David Bowie, this blog would never, ever end. From childhood, to my Bowie renaissance that began about five years ago, I've been hooked on this album in particular. I can't quite put my finger on what it is, because Bowie's genius cannot be married to one, single album. Most of my favorite songs, however, are on Hunky Dory. For that simple reason, it made the list.

Nirvana- MTV Unplugged in New York: My Sony Discman was the permanent home for this CD when I was 14. I saw no need to listen to anything else. I fell asleep to this album, woke up to it, listened to it in between classes. I had those headphones on so much my beloved electronic was taken away from me on the last day of 8th grade. Thankfully, I got it back just in time to spend an entire summer sitting on my stepmother's porch swing while I listened to Kurt Cobain's gritty voice haunt me from beyond the grave. Up until that point, I hadn't enjoyed any other Unplugged album. But this one...this one still takes me back to that time. I still feel what I felt then when I listen to it. I'm not sure if it's good or bad to revert back to the 14 year old me, but it feels cozy. Like an old, ugly flannel from the 90's grunge era...

Silverchair- Frogstomp: I've gotten shit for this one, but it is oh, so important. Silverchair ignited one of my longest lasting friendships. My best friend Emily and I bonded over this album, because it was a band of hot 16 year old boys from Australia and we were in need of celebrity crushes at the time. We were obsessed. We talked about them nonstop. Our weekend outings revolved around buying every music magazine that contained even the tiniest mention of "our men." We saw signs of our pending marriages to our beloved boys every where. My first real, ticketed concert was at a festival where Silverchair opened for ... The Ramones. No biggie. We thought we were pretty special that, of all the cities in America, their first US gig took place in Atlanta. This album is by no means a masterpiece, but "Tomorrow" will always make me stop and have a tender moment. Emily and I still text one another when we hear it, because we're still best friends to this day. Thank you, Daniel Johns, Ben Gillies, and Chris Joannou. Thank you very, very much.

Queen- News of the World: This album must have played on a loop in my home for a solid year during my childhood. I recall lying on my stomach, flipping through my parents' album covers while they listened to them. I was particularly fixated on the artwork for this one. It will never leave me. Just look at the fucking thing! To be honest, that had a lot to do with why I chose this Queen album over the others. It was a tough choice, believe me. Queen was a Pilkenton household staple.

Cyndi Lauper-She's So Unusual: Another album cover I stared at as if it were my job, but this album defined the 80's for me. Seeing as I was three when this was released, that isn't saying much, but Cyndi Lauper had her hooks in my little mind. Every where I went, I wanted to be dressed like her. She is still an embodiment of that decade for me and these songs just take me back to being a little girl who was obsessed with being a pop star. Even then, I knew great style when I saw it. Bitch had it.

Madonna- Like a Virgin: If Cyndi Lauper was my style icon in the 80's, then Madonna was the big sister I never had...and probably shouldn't have had. I thought if I wore bows made of tulle in my hair, I could look just like her. "Like a Virgin" was my absolute favorite song when I was four. I would put my tulle bows in, throw on some bangles, some eye shadow, and sing my heart out. Some people thought it was weird, but since I was actually singing "Like a bergent... touched for the very first time..." and no one knew what in the hell a "bergent" was...my mom decided it was okay just to let this one be. Madonna inspired me for years...probably until she started having scarily sculpted man arms. Yikes.

Everclear- Sparkle and Fade: Remember all stuff I said about Emily during my Silverchair blabber? Throw her in with this one too. I listened to this album from beginning to end on repeat until I just couldn't take it any more. I wrote Art Alexakis letters. Funny, I'll bet some of you didn't even know his name.

Foo Fighters- Foo Fighters:Dave Grohl... one of my many celebrity loves. What a fucking genius. The excitement behind this debut album was huge, because the dude from Nirvana had made it...and it was good. It made a crater-sized impact on my eighth grade summer, and then the Foo Fighters went on to put sizable dents all in my adolescence and college years. Still... one of the greatest live shows I've ever seen. And, still... I would make out with Dave Grohl if he asked. I'd have to.

R.E.M. - Automatic for the People: Remember when I thought I could become Angela Chase from "My So-Called Life" if I dyed my hair red, wore oversized shirts, and listened to the saddest music on the planet? Remember the great music video for "Everybody Hurts"? I still geek out over "Man on the Moon" and "Ignoreland." This is just a good album, so suck on that.

Todd Rundgren- Something/Anything?: I was born in 1980 to a mother and father who were 17 and 19, respectively. Therefore, I probably listened to this album in utero. Todd makes the list by default. My parents probably enjoyed him because my dad's name is also Todd. Also, Rundgren is talented as piss.

Nellie McKay-Get Away from Me: This album always reminds me of when I moved away from Georgia, because I listened to it on many lonely, Las Vegas afternoons. (Thank you, Adam Brown.) Nellie is just as political as she is whimsical. I imagine, if we were friends, she'd invite me over when I'm having a bad day, and we'd have a princess style tea party, and everything would be an adorable shade of pink, red, or purple. I just adore her, and you will too. Listen.

Fiona Apple- When the Pawn...: Cyndi made me obsessed with pop stardom. Over a decade later, Fiona made me fall in love with singing again, only this time, I was brooding and sultry...for no apparent reason. This album reminds me of driving my 1992 Ford Escort through the streets of Griffin, Georgia, my first intense, college crush (He was bipolar. It was awesome.), getting a post-80's perm (Not the worst idea I've ever had, but certainly not the best either), and the fact that I pretended to look great in ankle-length skirts (I just don't). Want to fill me with angst and make me sing as if I have a message to deliver? Put on Fiona.

John Lennon- Double Fantasy: Lennon's death has haunted me all my life, because it happened when I was just three months old... and it was all my mother could talk about when we discussed the Beatles. Lennon was a household name. "(Just Like)Starting Over" has perfect placement as the first track on a comeback album. "Watching the Wheels"...my absolute favorite by Lennon. I love the man so much, it was hard for me to narrow it down to one album, but this one became his epitaph in a way. I guess that's why I find it so moving.

**Honorable mention goes to Thriller...obviously.**

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

For every winner, there's an assload of losers.

So, my theater company just won a $20,000 grant for our expansion project that is coming up. Good thing, because there's no telling how we could have grown without it. Of course, everyone on this social networking site called "Facebook" was sick to death of seeing theater companies "beg" for votes to put them on the leaderboard so this money could be granted. Hell, I was sick of seeing it, myself, and I did my fair share of asking. I get it. I get overly tired of things that are run into the ground (Like people talking about Lebron James) and it makes me want to punch someone in the neck.

But it's over now. The winners have been announced and my company was one of 15 Chicago theaters recognized this year. I would think, as a performer in this city, that would be something you'd want to celebrate.

Instead, people choose to be dicks. Comments like, "Can I stop voting now?" and "Are you going to post 100 thank yous to everyone who voted for you?" are just catty, ridiculous, and, in my opinion, are in poor taste. Especially if you yourself have performed at that very venue many times. If the company shows you support, whether their Facebook pleas annoyed you or not, a simple "congrats" will suffice. If you don't care and want to say nothing at all...then that will do as well.

I'm sorry. It just had to be said. It's a great day for a lot of Chicago theaters as well as companies and charities across the country. Sometimes, we just need to hear good news. Stop being dicks.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

I Must Pay Credit


There comes a time in every young woman's life when she is heartbroken by someone who will not return her affections. She cries and asks herself why this happened to her.

Then she sees a picture of that guy on Facebook where he isn't wearing a shirt and she knows the gods and goddesses of love were actually on her side the whole time.

Thanks, Venus, Aphrodite and friends.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Friendly time on the Facebook


And it's true. She's always got one foot in her own shoe, and one in her other personalities'. It's a remarkable trait.