Listen. To. Me.

Caller: What shows do you have for Saturday?
Me: We have the 11pm show.
Caller: Oh, the 11 is all you have?
Me: Right.
Caller: Do you have any earlier shows?
*Hatchet to the face

Caller: I wanted to get tickets for your ETC show on Saturday but the website says you are sold out, so can I get tickets?
Me: No ma'am, because the show is sold out.
Caller: And what Saturday will you have availability at 8pm?
Me: Saturday the 19th is the next upcoming Saturday with availability at 8.
Caller: Do you mean March 19th?
*This call took place today, February 22nd...so...ya know...post February 19th.

Me: Box office.
Caller: Yeah, I need to talk to someone about classes.
Me: Let me give you the number to the training center.
Caller: Well, maybe you can help me. I want to take a stand up class...stand up 101, but I don't have any stage experience. I didn't know if that was a prerequisite for classes or if it would be okay for me to start in the beginning level without it.
Me: Yeah...this is the box office.
*Where's the tequila?

If you open your ears upon asking your first question you will, more than likely, have no further questions.