Just Long Enough (or perhaps too long)

The Idiot Gods have smiled down on me in the form of this ridiculous customer interaction. I am so thankful that I was able to work here long enough to receive this call. It is like nothing I have experienced! And that is coming from a person who once spent twenty minutes on a call with a schizophrenic girl who begged for my job and a lady who claimed she was fired because her boss was fat and bitchy.

I like to call this one "Hi. Welcome to the World."

Me: Second City Box Office?
Her: Yeah, this is the box office?
Me: Yes, it is!
Her: Oh, well I wanted Second City.
Me: This is Second City.
Her: Well, I went to your website, but it said 'Welcome to the Box Office'
Me: Right, it's the Second City box office.
Her: I want tickets for Fair and Unbalanced on the 13th of June. Is that a show you have?
Me: Yes, it is.
Her: I just don't know if this is your website. There's nothing telling me it's not, but I don't know. It says 'box office'
Me: Ma'am a box office is a general name for any place at a theater where a person could buy tickets. Every theater has a box office.
Her: Yeah, but...do you sell through TicketMaster? I'm scared to put my credit card into the computer if this isn't your site. Is your website just thesecondcityboxoffice.com?
Me: No, actually. It's just www.secondcity.com and "second" is all spelled out. We sell tickets through Laughstub. That's the ticketing system.
Her: I just don't know about buying these on here.
Me: Well, I can sell you tickets over the phone. This is...the box office for Second City, so why don't we just do that?
Her: No. No, I think I'll try this first.

For the record, I did go look at our website to see if I could clear up her confusion. If you navigate from the main page, to the show calendar, to the "Buy Tickets" tab you get to this page:


The fun did not stop there. Just as I screencapped this photo, she called back.

Her: Hi, I am trying to get these tickets off your website. I believe I just spoke with you.
Me: Yes, you did.
Her: Right, so there's no place for me to put my address. How will they mail my tickets if I don't put that in.
Me: We don't mail your tickets. You pick them up when you arrive.(She is still in some state of denial that I actually sell tickets to these shows, I guess. And then...just for shits and giggles, I finished with.) At the box office. Here.
Her: Right. Okay, so when can I get them?
Me:Any time after you place the order?
Her: But I could wait until show time?
Me: Right. So, any time after you order, you can swing by the box office and grab those tickets.
Her: Oh, I don't know where we're staying so I don't know when I can come, but before show is fine?
Me: Right.
Her: And what time could I come if I wanted to pick them up before show time?
Me: Well, the box office here at the Second City is pretty much open all day. We're here all day selling tickets and can also print ones that are already purchased for shows.
Her: Well, then I'll just buy these from the site as long as you can assure me this site is secure.
Me: Yes, ma'am. It is secure. If you went to secondcity. com, that is our website.
Her: Well, no other site sells your tickets, right?
Me: That's right!
Her: Okay, good.

She wasn't finished...

Her: Hi. I am on your website and-
Me: Yes?
Her: Well, my husband wanted me to check on this. I clicked on the tickets where it said "Welcome to the Box Office" and it took me to www.laughstub.secondcity.--
Me: Ma'am, Laughstub is our ticketing system.
Her: So this is secure?
Me: I assure you that everything will be fine with your order. I promise.