It's Time for an Episode of What I Said vs. What I SHOULD HAVE Said

Caller: Yeah I need to talk to someone in your lost and found. I came to the show last night and I think I left a key there.
Me: Okay, was it a car key?
Caller: Just a silver house key.
Me: Well, anything like that would be put in the safe and the night managers are the only ones with access. If you want to call back some time after four, they'd be able to look into that for you.
Caller: Yeah, but I'm locked out of my house right now. Can anyone help me?

WHAT I SAID
Me: Let me give you the number to the administrative line...

WHAT I SHOULD HAVE SAID
Me: Wait, you lost your house key last night and you're just now calling to ask us if we have it because you're locked out of your home?! Oh. This must mean you had sex last night. Well fuck you.

Click.